A Sad and Emotional Letter to a Pro-Life Supporter From a Pro-Choice Supporter

I understand your perspective. I know that life is important to you. I know that a baby’s life, a child’s life, should be protected at all costs. I know that you believe that life is sacred, that it’s a gift.

I want you to know it’s not about murder. I want you to know that no one disagrees with you. No woman who has to make that choice disagrees with you. No woman who makes that choice hasn’t thought about the choice that she’s making.

I want you to know that it’s not about rape. It’s not completely about rape. Yes, that argument is made a lot. It’s a legitimate argument for the reasoning of pro-choice. I’d like you to imagine it. Just for a second. You’re at a party, you’re on a date, you’re in a setting where you shouldn’t have to worry about violence. Maybe you’re drugged and your ABILITY to say no is taken away from you. Maybe you wake up and just KNOW that it happened. Maybe you don’t even know who it was. Maybe you didn’t even like the person you were with. Maybe you were creeped out but were too afraid to walk away.

Even if you weren’t drugged, does that make it better? Now you remember everything. You remember saying no — screaming no, you remember struggling, you remember being hit, you remember fighting back, you remember the pain, you remember everything BECAUSE you weren’t drugged. You can’t forget because you weren’t drugged. And even though you can’t forget a single second, no one believes you. No one was caught, no one was arrested, or charged, or imprisoned for assaulting you. Because no one believes you.

I want you to know it’s not about contraceptives. Birth control fails. Birth control can be unreliable. Birth control can depend on BOTH people wanting and consenting to using birth control. Birth control can be hard to obtain for someone who is embarrassed, for someone whose family disagrees with the use of birth control, or for someone who can’t afford birth control. Birth control can be free? For anyone visiting Planned Parenthood facilities that are camped by pro-life supporters who photograph, harass, and stalk patrons and employees seen walking in and out of Planned Parenthood.

I want you to know that it’s about an imperfect society that attacks women first. I want you to know that it’s about an imperfect society that protects men’s rights above women’s. I want you to know that it’s about how men are hidden from this argument completely EXCEPT when they’re in a position to make the decision about how women make choices about their bodies.

My question to you is this: How does it directly affect your life? If you’re able to have an abortion, how does it affect your life? If you’re unable to have an abortion, how does it affect your life? Not your daughter’s life, not your sister’s life, not your wife’s life, YOUR life.

If you’re a man and you can’t bear children, you don’t have a right to this conversation, period.

THIS is what it’s about.